Many, many years ago, very young in years and in my faith. I was also very alone. I had no church family to help guide me. No pastor, mentor, accountability person. No small group. I could go on and on. Just me, God, a Godless husband, 4 little children, and a couple of neighbors that I barely knew, and barely knew me. Living in the Alaskan wilderness. In a 22' x 24' wooden shack that I made into our home. No normal elecricity, no running through the faucet water. And no telephone to make contact with my mom, or anyone else in the world. I was very isolated. Without going into too much detail so I can get to the point, one of my neighbors was from California, Newport Beach. She was the closest thing to a friend I had, and our kids played together alot. She has a daughter Erin's age and son 2 years older. They are great people and I miss them to this day. Having been the victim of sexual abuse at a neighbors house when I was a little girl, I was very uncomfortable with my children spending the night away from home, but after a couple of years when Erin was about seven I let her go, after having stayed there several times, out of the blue one time she told me she didn't want to go. Apperently she wasn't o.k. with the way the older brother had treated her. Well when I tried to talk to my friend about it she became very defensive and upset. This in turn upset me very much. I didn't want to lose this friend but I also needed to protect my daughter and honor her feelings. So, as I laid down to sleep one night I was praying and I asked God to help me deal with this. The Lord spoke in my mind, all He said was James 4 something, I can't remember the exact verses. So I sat up in my bed, I lit a kerosene lamp and read the verse, then I read the whole chapter then the whole book. This was the first time I had studied in the bible. I stayed in that book for many years and learned alot about how to be a Christian. Not that I will ever reach perfection.
James chapter 4
1What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? 2You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. 3When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.
4You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. 5Or do you think Scripture says without reason that the spirit he caused to live in us envies intensely?[a] 6But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:
"God opposes the proud
but gives grace to the humble."[b]
7Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.
11Brothers, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. 12There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you—who are you to judge your neighbor?
Looking back I can't remember what I said or did. I just know that I called my friend and we worked it out. There is alot to learn in this book, but I think that what I learned first was that I need to ask God to help me with my heart. "You have not because you ask not." I started to ask in faith and God began to answer me. He still answers me. The enemy is out to steal, kill and destroy. What he wants to destroy more than anything is the love we have for one another. We cannot let him. When negative feelings are happening in relationships we have to ask for God's help, He wants us to work it out in His Love. We have to try to be open to giving and receiving constructive, loving criticism and praise and encouragement for each other when it is appropriate. We have to be willing to talk to each other and be objective looking at ourselves first and forgiving others and if we love each other whatever the differences between us are. We have to know in the deepest part of us that if God is for us then noone and nothing can be against us. Hopefully, especially our Christian brothers and sisters.